As I was laying there

patting Monkey's back at 2:30 this morning, hoping she would drift off to sleep, I was in deep conversation with Julien (in my mind of course). It is odd how things come into my mind, but as Monkey was waking me from my sleep, all I could think was how I needed to tell Julien how important Engineering School is.

Why?

Somewhere in my dreams or in a deep place back within my mind, Julien wanted to enlist in the military.

What hit me in that moment was that I cannot begin to comprehend how a Mother sees her child off to war.

The military life is beyond difficult. My father was a World War II Veteran, my eldest brother is a Vietnam Veteran, my youngest older brother is a Desert Storm Veteran and I was married to the military. I support our troops and feel honored that our freedom and lives are protected by those who serve in the United States Armed Forces.

Yet, I was having an imaginary conversation with my nine-year-old son at 2:30 this morning, discouraging him from choosing the military life.

I don't know if it is the media that placed these thoughts in my mind, a dream, a fear of where this election is taking us and what will become of our lives and country in another nine-years or if it was the pack of Reese's Pieces that begged to be eaten right before bed last night. All I know is I have the conversation all planned out...just in case Engineering School doesn't look so appealing nine-years from now.