Thursday, November 15, 2007

The moment that forever changed my life

I was going through some pictures and found these.
Before now, I didn't want to share them.
It honestly was too hard for me and such an incredibly private moment.
I know most of you remember this moment in your life.
The moment in which you first saw your new baby.
For me, this moment of joy was replaced by fear and confusion.
This was the exact moment when the nurse placed Addie next to me and said the words that I will never forget, "there appears to be a problem".
When the nurse brought Addie to me, she was crying.

The nurse placed Addie next to me and walked away.

I was unable to reach out to hold Addie.

The only thing that I could do was move my hand so that I could rub her head.

I wanted so badly to take her in my arms, kiss her and tell her that everything was all right.

I wanted her to know that it didn't matter what had happened in the moments preceding the first time that I touched her.

It didn't matter what others might have said, it didn't matter what was done and it didn't matter that the nurse didn't congratulate me, she only let me know that this angel that was next to me exhibited "a problem".

I couldn't take Addie in my arms, but I reached over to her and I touched her head.

This picture was the exact moment in which I did that.
This picture captured my thoughts and my love for my baby because the moment that my hand touched Addie, she stopped crying.


That was all captured in this one picture.
That private moment was captured for all the world to see, the only thing that is not clearly visible in this picture is the hand of God as HE held my baby close to me for me to touch and whisper to and to tell her that I loved her.
There was no nurse standing there with us, there was only our God and my husband watching as this moment unfolded.
I knew then that I would always be there to wipe away the tears and to take away the fear.
Addie completed my life.
This was the moment that forever changed my life.
I thank GOD for trusting me to take care of one of his most special angels.

3 comments:

*Staci* said...

Remember that GOD only gives these special angels to special people that he trusts to take care of them, love them unconditionally, and take away the fear; just as you are doing! You should hold your head very high because you are an outstanding mother!

Nicole said...

Staci is so right, God places special angels in our lives for a reason. He knew you were the perfect mother for Addie. As I've said many times before, God has a special plan for your little girl.

Anonymous said...

You are both very special people. We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand. Isaiah 64:8. God made Addie and gave her to you. Enjoy everyday and watch what He does with her. Tricia