Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Not knowing how to move forward

other than taking it one day at a time.
Today was just horribly difficult.
Chris and I were forced to go about our morning with a smile plastered on our faces as we met with a new practitioner for Monkey, met new therapists for Monkey, talked to new therapists on the telephone and smiled and extended our thanks while picking up special flowers that my sister had requested from the florist.
I put a smile on my face as I talked with the nurse from the practitioners office when she called me back later in the day to give me details of an upcoming test and I put a smile on my face when I walked in to pick Monkey up from school this afternoon.
That is what I'm supposed to do.
Nobody knew that in between all of this, I had to sit at a cemetery and listen to sweet and kind words being spoken by a man that has known our family virtually our whole lives.
Nobody knew that I had to sit and watch as my sister endured the greatest pain of her life and nobody knew that I had to place flowers next to a casket and walk away from two of God's most beautiful angels.
Life moves forward while pain and heartache is endured privately.
In the bitter cold of January, my two nephews were finally laid to rest.
Now we have to figure out how to get out of bed in the morning, put a smile on our faces and continue on with our lives.
Our gratitude is extended to everyone who has carried us through since the post where I had only seconds to say that we needed your prayers before I was running out the door to get to my sister (because I already knew that the sooner prayers began, the sooner healing began).
Our gratitude is immense and in no way can be put into words.
Thank you all and may God continue to be with us.


Jenn said...

My heart just breaks for all of you. I am praying that God gives all of you the strength and understanding to deal with the loss of those two precious babies. You are all always in my prayers.

Melissa Irvin said...

Praying for you and your family.

Lennie said...

Continuing to pray for you and your precious family...

Julie said...

Prayers still being sent your way.

Ashley said...

We are continuing to pray for your family.