Friday, September 05, 2008

What's wrong with her?!?!

Composure, grace, patience...not a one existed in my heart, body or mind this afternoon.

After Chris and I left Addie's classroom this afternoon we stopped at the fish tank so that Addie could look at all the fish while Chris took her braces off. I excused myself to the restroom and when I returned, as I was walking towards Addie, I told her it was time to go bye-bye.
As I was reaching down to pick her up, I told her to "get baby" and as I was doing this, I heard this shrill little voice ask, "why does she look so funny, what's wrong with her, why does she look like that?!"
I was so floored by what I had just heard that I was trying to regain my composure enough to decide what I was going to do, when thank God, a teacher immediately got the little girl and started talking to her.

First off, I am so blessed that this teacher acted quickly enough and was willing to address the comment. Second, you may be wondering where this little girls Mother was...hmmm, let's see...she was a couple of feet away signing her out and NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED the comment.

I just don't get it.

The other parents at the daycare are also fellow employees at our company. I always try to maintain a professional attitude towards other parents and don't think it is always wise to cause any friction with someone that you work with or could potentially work with at some point.  I was just so caught off guard because Addie's daycare is one of the places where we feel the safest - the most free from judgment.

It worries me to think what I might have said had the teacher not intervened. Not that I would have been hateful, but I was so caught off guard and couldn't believe that the Mother didn't immediately step in.

I know, I many posts now have I addressed issues like this? Lots and lots. I don't think I will ever get used to it. I have days when I have the patience to handle it and days when it is better for me to walk away. I have a dark side that I try not to show very often, but when someone starts messing with my children, I feel it start to creep out. I know the day will come when I will just let somebody have it and I hope there are few people around to witness it.

As a final closing...
I had a discussion with a friend a few weeks ago about the question, "what's wrong with her (him, your child, that baby, etc.)?"
Please, please, please don't use that phrase when you are talking to a family member of a special needs child or adult. Although it may not seem harsh, it is very insulting and cuts deep into the heart (a better alternative might be to ask what the diagnosis is - that is very blunt, but not insulting).

As for Addie, there is NOTHING wrong with her. God created her and she is perfect. She was created different than other babies, not wrong. She will struggle more to accomplish everyday tasks and work harder at all that she does. She is not wrong, she is beautiful and how dare anyone insult Gods' work.


Anonymous said...

Chris--I love you blog and I love your sweet family!

I have a question for you, regarding this post: What is your best idea of how the mom should have responded to her child that said that mean statement? I see this situation happen a lot and parents don't say anything to their kids, or at best, "Hush!" It's sad that parents don't know how to raise their children to see equality and beauty in all of God's children.