Try not to nod off during this story...
Lets jump around a bit and piece together a few different stories.
Join me for a quick ride down memory lane.
You guys remember the God of Grace?
She doesn't like me.
I try to be a composed person, a somewhat decent representation of proper manners, grace and gratitude.
It doesn't always work.
Sometimes, I just can't help but laugh at extremely inappropriate situations and sometimes I just cannot keep my composure and get so angry that I feel like I just want to pinch someones ear off.
Let me explain:
This is the golf course that we passed at least ten times during our stay at the park.
I love golf.
I love golf. I love watching the game of golf in person (watching on television drives me crazy!) and I love to watch my husband play golf.
He is a great golfer and I feel that we are up-to-date on proper golf etiquette.
My Baby Boy on the other hand, would much rather have a football in his hand than a golf club. He makes fun of grown men who spend hours chasing a little white ball around the grass - I get that.
So, imagine us - driving by the aforementioned golf course on our way to start our first morning at the park.
Keep in mind that at the age of eleven, the frontal lobe is still undeveloped.
The mouth of an eleven-year-old has problems with filters and hasn't quite gotten the whole cause and effect thing down to a science.
As we are approaching the golf course, we see a group of men preparing to tee off.
At that moment, my son takes it upon himself to roll down the window and yell in his loudest eleven-year-old voice -
"FORE"!
At that moment, the golfer - in his back swing mind you - stopped and flipped off my son.
Remember my rocky relationship with the God of Grace?
She kicked me right off that pedestal once more and I couldn't help but laugh.
I laughed so hard.
I just couldn't help myself.
What can I say?
Instead of taking that opportunity to remind my son of manners and respect - I laughed and just couldn't help myself.
Sometimes life's best lessons are learned the hard way.
That Darn undeveloped frontal lobe didn't develop during our vacation and the filter remained broken, because later in the day we decided to take a quick reprieve at the local play park.
As we were parking, there was a lady who was out enjoying a leisurely jog around the park.
To put it nicely, she lacked the proper undergarments that are desperately needed by us big girls when we're out for a run.
Chris and I made eye contact as we both cleared our throats in a "wow" kind of way.
Julien caught the look between us and wanted to know what was going on.
(Because I'm an honest and very frank kind of Mom)
I just told him that it is important for women to wear proper undergarments especially while playing sports or jogging.
He didn't quite pick up on what I was saying and asked if there indeed was a restrictive undergarment to keep someones behind from jiggling while running....which led to a conversation about derrière's.
Which led to him making the comment that there is no way that his derrière is "as big as yours Mom"!
Darn undeveloped frontal lobe.
So much for a self-esteem boost.
Moving on...
Since I was already off the pedestal, it was fitting that I had a minor encounter with a woman that I just wanted to pinch her ear off!
I have a sweet story about Addie, but before we get to that, we have to visit the other story.
We were very fortunate that the park was not very crowded.
Inside of The Great Barn was a nice sprinkling of people.
Just enough to make it fun to play, but not enough that there was a line of people waiting for anything.
In this one little area, there was a big cow that children can climb on and then big steps up to a slide.
In this area was one other family.
Addie walked in and was so excited.
She wanted to climb onto the cow and up onto the stairs and so I was helping her.
Bless her heart, she is just so slow and caused the other child to have to actually wait their turn - imagine that.
At one point, the Mom asked me - in a snotty voice, "how old is she?"
(Inhale).
I answered her with a polite, "she's three".
Her response: "Three? Really?"
As if I were making it up.
She had such an ugly tone.
I just couldn't help myself and I picked up sweet Baby Girl and told her that we would find somewhere else to play.
I usually don't remove us from those situations, but why was the tone even necessary?
Luckily, the God of Brattitude was having a good day or else I could have gotten very ugly, but then I would be lowering myself to her level and I don't like to be that kind of person.
***Not to worry - We had a family who unknowingly was put into our path and made our entire trip. Story coming soon!***
So, I didn't win any Mom of the Year Awards...but I sure did get a few much needed laughs!
