Sunday, February 12, 2012

"Hospital?", "Doctor?"

I decided to talk to Addie today about her surgery.
I told her that we were going to the hospital tomorrow to see Dr. Davis and he was going to make her feel all better.
I told her that there would be lots of doctors and nurses wearing gloves, hats and masks and that she didn't need to be afraid because Daddy and Mommy would be with her.
I told her that she could take her blankie with her and also her baby (E.R. Baby).

For the rest of the day, Addie walked around, asking, "hospital?", "doctor?" and when I told her, "not yet, it's tomorrow", she would say, "oh" and go on to something else. The conversation was repeated over and over and when she saw E.R. Baby on the kitchen table, she asked me again, "doctor?".

I am so thrilled that the little Monkey understood some or all of what I told her. I'm not sure that will make a difference in her behavior in the morning, but I thought I would at least try to prepare her.

Kind of like I prepared the nurse when she called on Friday to confirm our arrival time. Addie is the first patient of the day - YAY!!!!! No hours upon hours of keeping the little Monkey occupied! I told the nurse that I am expecting a vat of Versed to be prepared and waiting for us when we arrive!


I guess it's because I'm five years into this now that I catch myself being surprised when I talk to a medical professional who has never heard of Microcephaly. I don't know if I'm surprised because they have never heard of it, don't know how to spell it or what it is or if I'm surprised because I find myself having to talk about it when I usually don't have to.

The awful part is that I have learned to talk about the diagnosis to other medical professionals like I'm not emotionally involved. Maybe that means I'm used to the questions or maybe I've learned to discuss the topic when I'm at work like I was sitting around a conference table talking about a business problem and not my own child. Then again, it's incredibly easy to talk about Addie when I'm not face to face with someone.

To make matters worse, I'm not even nervous about tomorrow - at all.

Addie is incredibly sick. Her left ear is worse than it's ever been and I don't want her to ever go through what we've been through this last week. I just want her little ears to be healthy again.