Eighteen-months in the waiting...

This is so hard for me. Tomorrow is the day I have been dreading for eighteen-months. Addie is scheduled for her MRI. I know in my heart that it cannot be any worse emotionally than her first MRI at eight days old. I am much more mentally and emotionally prepared, I don't have all the postpartum hormones interfering with logical thinking, but I am so afraid that something else will be discovered. I am preparing myself for anything.

As most of you know, Addie's first MRI resulted in an incorrect secondary diagnosis that was not revoked for five-months. We also discovered extra fluid around the ventricles and it took a world-renowned expert to give us the final diagnosis. I'm tearing up just writing this...I'm stronger than this and I know I will get through this regardless.

I hope that everyone is on schedule tomorrow. It will be extremely difficult to occupy a hungry eighteen-month old for more than an hour. Unlike the times Addie has been put to sleep for her Eustachian tubes, this time an I.V. is required prior to her sedation. I want this to go as smoothly as possible. I will be with her and we'll get through the toughest part of it. Once she is sedated, it will be a big relief for me.

Chris and I bought Addie a new baby today. A Corolle Baby that she can take with her tomorrow - it's a special baby because this baby can go in the bath and swimming pool with her. I think Addie will just love her (although she is still firmly attached to her baby from our E.D. friends!).

I emailed Dr. Ness today advising her that we could not get in to see her for almost a month. I asked if she could please email us the results from the MRI. We'll see...