Tuesday, December 14, 2010

F.G.

Yes, that's right!
A post all about...
Fungus Girl!
Today our poor Pediatrician was stuck seeing us because of this awful ear infection that started before Thanksgiving is still hanging around...and is just as terrible as it was before antibiotics.
Fungus Girl has an amazing magical talent that I have previously mentioned.
She has the ability to transform her Mother from a clean, semi-sane woman into a frazzled mess of a woman who gives all appearances of someone who has been attacked by a wild animal and then run over on the molten hot asphalt of an Alabama Summer.
F.G. had to touch everything at the doctors office - everything.
She had to walk around and speak to every coughing, sneezing, stuffy-nosed, fever harboring child in the waiting room, she played musical chairs to collect any extra germs that she hadn't previously picked up and it only continued once we made it to the exam room.
She enjoyed passing the time by taking all the tissues out of the tissue box and wiping things down (no clue where she got that from), putting the tissues in the trash...and then...taking them back out of the trash.
Then followed that up with having the best time playing faster than the baby.
She would (truly) accidentally drop an animal cracker on the floor or exam table and (intentionally) manage to shove it into her mouth and swallow before I could remove the germ-laden morsel from her mouth.
She tried to touch the stethoscope, every cell phone within her reach, every single chair in the room and then was more than content to lay on the exam table, elbows on the ledge of the window and then just for the fun of it...licked the blinds on the window.
By the time the doctor came into the room, I was ready to curl up in the corner and just take a nap with a syringe of antibiotics in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
F.G. is now on another antibiotic in hopes of getting all better before Christmas and I'm on my way to find my bed in hopes that a few hours of sleep will soften this memory so I won't be humiliated for the rest of my life.

2 comments:

Isaacson's said...

You crack me up! I just love reading your post, made my day!
XOXO, Samantha

Katie said...

LOL I have someone names Christopher who also knows how to find everysinglegermintheroom.