As most of you know, this blog started as a way for me to keep my friends and family updated about my pregnancy.
Then it turned into a way for me to keep my friends and family updated on Addie - since it wasn't something that I could freely talk about.
Then it turned into my therapy and my desire for others to know that having a child with special needs is a much greater gift than anyone could ever imagine.
It is a ton of hard work, a whole lot of fighting, a few tears, endless days of bragging about each little bit of cherished progress and in my case, it's also about vats of M&M's and chocolate milk.
I love writing about my children.
I love proving every doctor and therapist wrong who told me that I should have zero expectations from Addie.
One in particular has no idea how many times a week the words, she will "never walk, never talk and never function like a normal child" runs through my mind.
I am not bitter and I do not dwell on any negative thing.
I try my best to be a positive person, and there are days when that just can't happen - and some of you have seen that side of me.
I have my moments where my inner crazy comes out, everything rubs me the wrong way and unfortunately, there are the days when the people I respect and care about the most - get the brunt of it all.
This blog is my therapy and there are times when I think it is just my personal diary and I am selfish and I talk about random, stupid things that only my brain seems to find humor or understanding in.
Then there are days when I realize that it reaches far beyond the edges of my psychotic little brain, days when I have an email from someone thanking me for giving them hope.
How incredibly humbling
and
it brings my life to a momentary halt because all the hard times come flooding back and I realize that others are now walking in my shoes.
That is when I am so thankful, so incredibly thankful that in the midst of my very selfish acts, I can provide that one little piece of hope to someone else.
Hope is what I would cling to each second after Addie's birth - and six years later - I am still clinging to it.
Hope that she has the best possible life that I can provide for her - with the support of your love and your acceptance of Addie.
It is amazing how one little kind word, one hug, one "thank you" means more to me than all the M&M's and chocolate milk housed within the continental United States.
....and for that, I thank YOU for being here for me in my self absorbed, selfish shell that I sometimes find myself.
