Monday, October 28, 2013

It's My Job

to worry and to be cautious and to feel the need to protect my children.
I don't think I would be a very good Mom if I didn't worry about their safety.

Although Addie has made great strides with walking up stairs with a support person behind her for safety, going down the stairs is a completely different issue - for her and me.

When Addie doesn't have any distractions, she does great.
When there are distractions, Addie's anxiety goes up and her ability to safely navigate the stairs, drastically drops.

Our house is full of distractions, kitties underfoot and two children who are very stubborn and determined.
When we walk with Addie down the stairs, she holds onto the railing with one hand and holds onto our hand with the other.
Addie starts counting the stairs at the top and we count each one until we reach the bottom.
That is how it is done in our house - PT approved or not.

Mainly because of that Mommy fear that I have.

Every once in a while, an incident occurs that validates my reason for being the person that I am.

Yesterday evening while on the way downstairs, Addie and I were going through the normal (and slow) process.  
Addie was holding onto the railing and holding onto my hand.

I'm not entirely sure what happened, but somehow her right foot bent underneath her and she went falling forward - and thankfully, I was able to catch her.

Accidents happen, but it was her reaction that just tore at my heart.

Normally, if Addie had an incident of some kind, she would get mad and try to figure out what the heck happened.

This time, she didn't get mad.

She immediately sat down on the stairs and covered her little face with her hands and she started to cry.
I tried to console her and tell her that it was just an accident, that everybody has accidents, but she just sat there with tears streaming down her face.

I helped her to her feet after making sure her foot was fine and we continued down the stairs.

At the bottom, I gave her a hug and told her she did a really good job and that we would try again next time.

Her tears weren't tears of anger, being afraid or being dramatic, it was like she was sad because she "messed up".
She practices so hard and loves nothing more than when she gets it right 
like every other child,
she loves praise and to feel like she succeeded. 

It was an awful, awful moment and a very rare emotion for me to see from Addie.
I am just so glad that she is so resilient and goes forward with continued persistence!