It Could Have Been Worse

Last weekend, Chris and I took Chunk Chunk to the McWane Center.

This time around, we took Chunk to a different area to let her play and right before we decided to leave, we thought it would be fun to let her have a turn on the slide.

The slide is an enclosed slide that was constructed on the once working down escalator.

 (At least they didn't use duct tape to secure the slide) 

Chris had Addie upstairs and my job was to walk downstairs and stand in the "do not enter area" and look up into the slide and encourage Chunk to come on down.
I stood to the side of the slide for other children to come down and there were moments of silence while some interesting parents near me made comments about how there must be some "slow kids today".
I just smiled...and thought oh so pleasant thoughts...

A little bit of time passed, another child came down and then I heard Chris tell Chunk it was her turn (voices travel well down the slide, I could hear Chris clear as a bell from one floor up).

I kept hearing Chris tell Chunk to go ahead and so I started calling for Chunk, encouraging her to come down.

All I could hear her say was, "Momma". 

She didn't sound incredibly thrilled, but by that point there really was no turning back. 

I couldn't see her, so I moved a little further into the slide and finally caught a glimpse of her. 

(I bet some gym teacher somewhere is really ticked off at the kid that owns these shoes)

She got really excited when she saw me.
She was a little less than halfway down the slide and she had one foot propped on one side of the slide and her hands were pressed against the sides like she was pressure mounted inside the slide.  

She wasn't going anywhere.

It was at that moment that I heard Chris tell me to climb up and get her because if he tried to slide down, he would just slam right into her. 

As I started climbing into the slide (Thank you Clark's for making shoes with amazing grip), I felt my jeans slide down just a bit and I knew...my big girl panties were now visible to anyone in the near vacinity. 

I was trying to determine if sight destroying flesh was visible, but by that point, I was climbing up the slide, trying not to slip backwards, with no way to reach back and pull up my jeans or tuck my shirt back into my jeans - all the while telling Chunk that she was okay and I was coming to get her. 

Chunk was whining, on the verge of hysterics and when I finally reached her, I had to pry her loose from the slide. 

I held onto her thighs to prevent her from sliding too fast and I started to back down the slide. 

As I approached the opening of the slide, all I could hear was imaginary beeping...warning others that I was backing up and that yes - panties were showing, child was crying and Momma was sweating. 

As I climbed the rest of the way out of the slide, I told Chunk that everything was okay and I resisted the urge to make some stupid comment to any bystanders in an effort to reduce my embarrasment.   

At that moment, Chris was at the bottom of the stairs and he looked at me and said, "Hmmm, that wasn't such a good idea".

I'm thinking we are both in mutual agreement.