Ramblings of a half insane mind.

I'm off work this week and feel good about the progress I'm making on the "catch-up game" that I seem to be playing lately.
On my way home from taking Addie to school, I was pointlessly flipping from one radio station to the next, finding nothing but yapping when I decided it was a good time to talk to God. I have two different families that have asked for special prayers this week and I wanted to make sure I was focusing on their requests as much as possible.
There is one small stretch of highway that takes me past this beautiful house and land that I tell Chris all the time that I want. You know, the picture perfect house with the four-car garage, picket fence and horses (not that I know the first thing about horses, but they are beautiful to look at). The trees have bloomed just so and have cast the most serene shadows onto the road and I don't think the sky could be any bluer. At that moment it occurred to me just how lucky I am. I have it all. I have a house that we can afford (although not perfect for us and seems to be content with not selling), two beautiful children, a husband who takes care of everything when I'm not feeling well, a beautiful little city to live in, great friends and family, our health, a great job, a car that starts every time I need it to and a perfect God that has granted me peace. I felt a peace that I haven't felt in so long that I can't remember the last time. I realized that I'm OK, I'm OK with the way my life is and where it is heading. This time last year, I was so grief stricken that it was hard to see anything past my job as Addie's Mother. There are always days when the grief comes back, but for the most part, I think I'm finding my way. There are some days, I keep waiting for that curve ball to come flying in and for my world to come crashing back down again and then there are days, like today, where I can see past today and know how blessed I am. I am blessed not only to have an amazing son who is so intelligent and good hearted, not to mention that he has the most amazing green eyes (from me, of course) and the cutest little sprinkling of freckles across his nose, but I also have Addie. I wouldn't be the same without her. I want each and every one of you to watch closely. God has an amazing plan for her and I wait eagerly every day for that plan to be revealed. I picture her being the ONE that proves "them" all wrong, the ONE who can walk into school and sit with every other typical child, the ONE who shows the world how God works. How GOD continues to work miracles in a time when we wonder what the future holds for our children. I know Addie was sent here - to me - for a very special purpose and we'll know why...when God is ready to show us.
Today is a day of peace and I am so thankful for it!