I can't put a number on the times I said to people that I was "waiting for the other shoe to drop".
We were so quickly thrown into the world of special needs that we had prepared ourselves for the worst.
What the worst was, we didn't know.
So, for over a year, I kept repeating the same thing to any therapist or friend that would listen and I would ask when "it" would happen.
"It" being the horrible tragedy that came with having a special needs child.
The stigma that surrounds special needs children had me ready for anything.
I was ready for the depression, the seizures, the endless nights at the hospital, the longing for a child that was "okay", but none of those things ever came.
The other shoe had been there the whole time, walking quietly down the same path that I was. The depression never set in, our God has graced us with a seizure-free child, the trips to the E.R. are hopefully behind us and my sweet baby girl has always been "okay".
From the second that I had her, when I knew that something wasn't the way I thought it would be, I still knew we would be okay. I knew Addie was a gift and I never prayed for a different child.
I prayed for the strength and knowledge to help and protect this gift that I had been so blessed to have been given.
I was sitting at lunch with my beautiful friends a while back and we were discussing that topic. The one in which we all were waiting on that other stinkin' shoe to come crashing down on us and how we look back on that time and realize that life wasn't even close to what we were led to believe it would be.
My sweet, baby Addie brings me countless moments of pure joy and the moments of sorrow do tend to creep in, mostly when we encounter hateful people or when I realize how she struggles, but I need to say time and again how blessed we are.
I have spent a great deal of time lately looking at Reece's Rainbow and it has made me realize even more how very blessed we are.
We were chosen by our God to receive Addie into our lives.
She could have been any one of those sweet babies who are given up by a parent who was embarrassed by the diagnosis that their children were given or given up by a parent that didn't want to be a parent or didn't have the means to be a parent. Regardless of the reason why, these children suffer each minute of every day.
That could have been my Addie, but it wasn't.
I know how blessed we are and I hope you all realize that as well.
As I held my sweet beautiful baby girl tonight and rocked her to sleep (sorry Dr. Ferber), I prayed for all the children who Addie could have been.
We have a gift.
