Tuesday, October 30, 2012

It's No Fun Being the Bad Guy

I am going to make this into a short story and try not to be annoyingly cryptic... although leaving out details is my full intention - for now anyway.

My sweet, off the hook, Little Monkey went to see our favorite pediatrician yesterday.
I will temporarily leave out a lovely story about embarrassing moments and skip ahead to today.

Our doctor's appointment yesterday - with our favorite pediatrician - led to a visit this morning at Children's South.

The poor Little Monkey was such a brave girl this morning and tried her best to follow directions through her uncontrollable tears.
By the time we took the Little Monkey to school and we got to work, we were beyond exhausted and absolutely emotionally drained.

My sweet Little Monkey was nervous, but happy while waiting for us to be called back.

E.R. Baby never left her side!

Addie sends me on a roller coaster of emotions each and every day - yet, I am always aware that no matter how stressful and frustrating it is for me, that it is ever more frustrating for her.

It is hard when I don't know if there is something that I should be doing differently each day to help Addie or if I am missing something that may be causing her pain.

I look into her sweet blue eyes and I always ask her to "tell me" what she needs, what she wants, what I can do to make any moment of every day better for her.

...and it is always so difficult to stand by her and wipe away her tears and reassure her that she is alright when I don't know if she truly understands me, although she nods her head and responds, "Yes Ma'am" through her sobbing tears.

I hate being the bad guy sometimes although I know it's for the best.

The Little Monkey makes me so proud - even when we are confronted with ignorance, even when we are confronted with brutal honesty - I look at her and remember that I wouldn't trade the heartache and pain that comes with being Monkey's Mommy  - for anything in the world.


Jeania said...

Aww!! Hope Addie is feeling better and everything is ok:)