Before I even begin, it is important to know that my sister gave her blessing for me to share some information.
Today has been hard.
My sister - Cecilia - is still in ICU tonight.
She was given two pints of blood this afternoon and although some levels have improved, others have not.
I will have to contact the funeral home in the morning to let them know that we will have to postpone the funeral until next week.
The doctor said that my sister will be in the hospital until at least this weekend.
I know so many of you have asked for details and for the vast majority, I feel it is out of concern and with offers of prayer.
To be honest with you, we do not know exactly what happened.
We know that my nephews - Ethan Reed and Evan Ryan - were perfectly healthy last Wednesday as they showed off their strong heartbeats during testing.
They were big and healthy, weighing in at 5 pounds 13 ounces and 5 pounds 9 ounces respectively.
We know the babies were active and doing well and then we know that my sister began exhibiting signs of what we thought was typical pregnancy sickness.
She was assured by her doctor and the on call doctor that she needed to take Zofran and push fluids.
We know that the babies were fine during our Christmas party and we know that by the time the doctor finally told my sister to go to the hospital Saturday, the babies heartbeats were gone.
That is all we know besides the fact that my sister did everything she was instructed to do by her Obstetrician and the on-call Obstetrician.
That is all we know other than my sister is now recovering in ICU and my nephews are now beautiful angels.
I do know that we may never have the answers we search for.
I do know that I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this time in my sisters life.
I was there with her as my niece came into this world and I was there with her as my nephews came into this world.
I needed to be there for my sister and I needed to be there to see the babies as they were born. I wanted to see for myself their condition as they were born.
We were blessed to have an anesthesiologist that was truly heaven sent.
I told him when I entered the O.R. that I wanted to watch the delivery and wanted him to let me know when the time was near and so he did.
He gently placed his hand on my shoulder, making eye contact with me and I stood moments before Ethan was born. He was beautiful. Perfectly beautiful with a head full of dark hair. Evan was born one minute later, a perfect match to his sweet brother. I looked for any signs of detectable complications or abnormalities.
There were none.
Only perfectly beautiful babies.
I watched them as the nurse tended to each one of them, stroking their heads and gently bathing each one.
I waited until the nurse had completed her job before I walked over to my sweet nephews.
They were cuddled together and I put my hand on their sweet bodies and told them how much they are loved. I told them how thankful we were to have them and the peace that we felt knowing that they were resting in God's arms.
I prayed to God to bless them and I prayed to God for peace for my sister.
I knew from the tone in the O.R. that my sister was much sicker than anyone had realized and as she was taken directly to ICU, our family gathered for our time to hold the babies and to love them.
At that moment, that was the most important thing for them to know - how very much they are loved.
We can't make sense of the situation and I realize it is not for us to understand, only to learn to accept.
Our acceptance is overridden by our earthly pain and your prayers are coveted.
