Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Finding a balance

When my family is facing such loss in death, it almost seems wrong to celebrate life.
My sweet Baby Girl's Birthday is this week and it is a time that we struggle anyway.
We have always celebrated her birthday in a way that we saw fit.
It is such an incredibly emotional day for us that in the past, we have always chosen to remain by ourselves.
Part of me feels that we shouldn't celebrate her day as we are waiting to lay to rest the newest additions to our family.
We always struggled with the day Addie was born and the day we brought her home because we feel that we didn't do enough to celebrate her life in a time of confusion.
How could I not celebrate her 3rd Birthday?
That would be letting her down all over again.
I had to talk myself into finding the balance that we so desperately need this week.
We are proceeding with our plans in celebration of the life that has touched so many.
We are honoring our sweet baby by celebrating her day and pray that our time of honor to our daughter in no way dishonors my sister or my nephews.
We need this day for our daughter and for our family.
Many of you have written your stories of blessings and wishes for this past year and the year to come.
I am as close to broken as I have ever been and my post of thanks and wishes has yet to come into my heart.
My sister has been moved from ICU, for which all thanks go to you - those of you who have been on bended knee for our family.
I have 397 pictures from Christmas that I have yet to have the heart to sort through and I am desperately trying to balance work, appointments and this tragedy and still take a moment to cherish the last full day before Addie's Birthday.
Please continue your prayers with me.


Jenn said...

I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are all going through. I pray that you all find peace and understanding. You always seem to find a perfect balance and I know you will find the prefect way to celebrate Addie's 3rd birthday.

Stephanie said...

I'm so glad to hear that your sister is continuing to improve.

I don't think there is anyone in the world who would disapprove of a celebration of Addie's birthday. Her life is a miracle, and inspires so many people. She deserves it, and so do you all.

You have until next Christmas to sort through the Christmas pictures. Take your time and focus on the important things.

Still praying.

Anonymous said...

Jenn, God is our strength. We do'nt always understand at the time;but in due time you will understand everything. Celebrate Addie's birthday like never before. She truly is a blessing to so many people. I am so thankful that stumbled across this blog and she became apart of my life. I will be pray ing for your family Tricia

jennohara said...

We're all still praying for you and your family to find peace in all of this.
You ALL deserve to celebrate Addie's birthday, and you will find the perfect way to do it.
Like Stephanie wrote, take your time to sort through pictures. Just take care of what matters most.

Anonymous said...

Still praying for the entire family!!

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you at this time. I agree that Addies life and birthday should be celebrated at the time and manor in which you see fit. Both of you have accomplished so much in her short years. You do not dishonor your sister or nephews all. It is clear how much you love all of them