I continue to have good days and bad days and I suppose that will never change.
Saturday just so happened to be a really bad day. There was not anything that made the day any different, it was just “one of those days”. We had lots of things that we had to do that day and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make myself feel any better. I don’t know why it took me so long to come to the realization that I needed to pray, but later in the day I turned to the only one who knows my grief and pain. I needed strength to make it through the day and I didn’t feel that it was fair to “ruin” the day for others. It wasn’t until the evening that my prayer was answered.
We stopped to do some shopping and the situation presented itself where Julien and Chris were in another part of the store. I decided to walk towards the front of the store to wait. As I’m doing this, in my peripheral vision I see a woman in a wheelchair approaching from a distance. As soon as I saw her, I knew she was going to stop me…and she did. This woman had several obvious physical disabilities and to be quite honest, I was wondering how she was shopping without assistance. She chatted for a moment before she finally asked me “THE question” (she is the first person in seven months to ask). She found a very polite way of asking me if my daughter had any type of disorder. After answering each of her questions, she looked at me and said without a doubt in her voice, “she’s going to be just fine”. I can’t tell you what kind of peace that brought over me. Don’t get me wrong, I in no way think she meant that life would be just grand, but I am convinced that GOD was calming my fears and easing my pain. There have always been signs from GOD – there were signs when I was pregnant, that I didn’t want to see. There are people now in my life that were put here for various reasons and I know that I am being led through each obstacle and decision that I make.
These last few weeks have been really difficult for me because I have received a few emails criticizing me for the prayers that I pray for Addie and some of the comments that I have made. I can’t begin to address those issues because I refuse to get angry with the people who feel the need to criticize me. I pray that I am given the knowledge and strength to help my children each day. I will never apologize to anyone for my actions or comments. That lady was an answer to my prayers – GOD hears me and is responding. Addie will be “just fine” because I will never give up on her.
