Christmas Eve at HOME!

Having a great time!

Although Monkey didn't feel well, that didn't stop her from enjoying the evening!

Just a few of my favorites

We always add new ornaments to the tree each year.

This year in addition to the kids making their annual Christmas Ornaments, we added to our kid-friendly animal collection.

Chunky Monkey could take the ornaments off of the tree and put them back on 100 times a day and they would still look the same!

Making it an annual tradition

In keeping in line with the year before, Monkey was miserable with a horrible sinus infection. Her ENT had prescribed antibiotics, which didn't touch her symptoms.

In fact, they got worse and she woke up with 104. fever Christmas morning.

The situation didn't get any better from there...

I believe that

people never get over the loss of a child or even worse - children.

I see how very easy it would be for people to just shut down.

I know life goes on, but I am surprised at how that just seems to happen.

Now that the funeral is behind us, I will begin updates from Christmas and New Years.

I didn't feel it would be right to do that before the funeral.

Normally I am so excited about posting sweet and happy updates, this time it is just hard.

Be with us as we continue to grieve and be with us as we start the process of moving forward.

We are so grateful for your prayers and support.

Not knowing how to move forward

other than taking it one day at a time.

Today was just horribly difficult.

Chris and I were forced to go about our morning with a smile plastered on our faces as we met with a new practitioner for Monkey, met new therapists for Monkey, talked to new therapists on the telephone and smiled and extended our thanks while picking up special flowers that my sister had requested from the florist.

I put a smile on my face as I talked with the nurse from the practitioners office when she called me back later in the day to give me details of an upcoming test and I put a smile on my face when I walked in to pick Monkey up from school this afternoon.

That is what I'm supposed to do.

Nobody knew that in between all of this, I had to sit at a cemetery and listen to sweet and kind words being spoken by a man that has known our family virtually our whole lives.

Nobody knew that I had to sit and watch as my sister endured the greatest pain of her life and nobody knew that I had to place flowers next to a casket and walk away from two of God's most beautiful angels.

Life moves forward while pain and heartache is endured privately.

In the bitter cold of January, my two nephews were finally laid to rest.

Now we have to figure out how to get out of bed in the morning, put a smile on our faces and continue on with our lives.

Our gratitude is extended to everyone who has carried us through since the post where I had only seconds to say that we needed your prayers before I was running out the door to get to my sister (because I already knew that the sooner prayers began, the sooner healing began).

Our gratitude is immense and in no way can be put into words.

Thank you all and may God continue to be with us.

In the bitter cold of January

My nephews will be laid to rest.

May God be with us today.

Update

My sister was released from the hospital to my complete disbelief.

I didn't think she was ready to go home, but apparently someone that possesses a medical degree was in charge of making that decision.

That same person (with the MD behind their name) that signed the discharge papers somehow managed to fail to send my sister home with the Rx's that she desperately needed.

This meant that the callback from the doctor to request these prescriptions took over seven hours (can you believe that???), which left our family scrambling to get to a local pharmacy to pick up the Rx's before they closed on New Year's Eve.

I have to bite my tongue because I just do not understand how someone can be discharged from the hospital (especially after a tragic situation) and sent home without everything they could possibly need...and on a holiday.

Believe it or not, it wasn't even at the same hospital Monkey was born at (then I could have believed it)...

She came home from the hospital and insisted on coming to Addie's Birthday Party.

She settled into my recliner with a pillow and a blanket and I think she needed the company as much as we needed her with us.

Her grief is something that I cannot fathom and that no one understands.

Grief may be similar in nature, but all grief is unique to the person or people experiencing it.

Our grief continues as we are preparing final arrangements for this coming week.